How to Talk to Kids About Tough Issues

Are you having trouble explaining to your kid(s) about tough issues? A death, a divorce, their growing bodies,etc? Here are some tasks to help you and your child to be able to talk about these things easily.

Method 1: Developing a Bond

Developing a strong relationship with your children will help them feel comfortable addressing difficult subjects with you.

1

Spend quality time with your child(ren). Go places together, whether it is the park or the zoo, and take time to chat and ask them about their lives. Share fun experiences together to build memories.

2

Practice respectful parenting. Respectful parenting encourages trust and autonomy, and helps children feel that you believe in them and their decision-making skills.

·      When you want them to do something, explain why.

·      Let them make decisions about their own lives: from what cereal they eat, to what they wear, to which color rug they want in their room. They will slowly gain confidence and a sense of responsibility.

3

Don't pressure them to do something they aren't interested in. This includes things from joining a sports team to eating broccoli. This will show them that how they feel and what they want matters to you.
                 · Instead of pressuring kids to share, tell kids to ask permission. For example, "If you want to                     play with your sister's trucks, you'll have to ask her."

                 · Obviously, sometimes you need them to do something. In those cases, you can be calm and                     firm.

4

Be firm, but not punitive, when your child misbehaves. It can be easy to lose your temper and yell or punish—or to give in. Take a deep breath, and give a clear "no." Follow up with a clear explanation of why their action was a bad choice.

· "You need to sit in your car seat because it keeps you safe."

· "Hitting hurts people. It is not okay. I think you owe your brother an apology."

· "I know you don't want to go to bed right now. It's fun to stay and play. But you need to go to bed by 8:00, so you have enough sleep to be happy and healthy in the morning."

· "I am so upset right now, I need to take a break to cool off. Then I will decide how to handle this

5

Take time to listen closely to them. People, including children, want to feel heard and understood. Work on your listening skills so you can be attentive and helpful.

6

Validate their feelings. Validating can soothe people and help handle their emotions. Recognize how your child is feeling, and let them know it's okay to feel that way. This can release tension, because you know and care about how they feel.

• "I know it's fun to play at the park. I like it here too. But we do need to leave, so that we can eat lunch."
• "That sounds like a difficult day. I can understand why you're upset."

7

Be a problem-solving team. When you or your child identifies a problem, talk to them about how to solve it together. Brainstorm ideas and ask for their thoughts. See if you can come up with a solution that leaves both of you satisfied.

Method 2: Explaining an Issue  

1

Choose a quiet time, when your kid will be able to listen well. Find a time when they have eaten recently, and you'll have a stretch of time where you can talk. Long car rides and evenings can be good times to discuss things.

·         Choose a time when you have the patience to sit through the conversation, too!Explaining an Issue

Tips

·         This requires a lot of patience, but in the end you will be very VERY happy!